Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
