i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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