I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just found puke in my bra..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
