What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize