I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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