Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
