all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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