The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
