her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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