Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize