Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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