I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
