My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
