I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
