I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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