If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
