He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
