dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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