just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I will be naked everywhere
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
