No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
