Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
