Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
