Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
