Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Randomize
