so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
