i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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