doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
