Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
