There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize