So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
