Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
