I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
