His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
