Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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