so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
