he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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