Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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