Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize