I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
