I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
