before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
