So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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