Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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