Say something about gay babies.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
