he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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