Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
