You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
