I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
