Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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