i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How external is "for external use only"?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
