After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
