I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
