I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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