no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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