Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize