Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Fuck appropriateness.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
