It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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