Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize