She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize