Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
