Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
