That's intense
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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