do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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