I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
