I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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